Becoming a new mom is a whirlwind of joy, exhaustion, and completely new experiences. In the midst of sleepless nights and endless diaper changes, a little bit of lighthearted fun can go a long way. That's where Would You Rather Questions For New Moms come in! They're a fantastic way to connect, share a laugh, and maybe even realize you're not alone in the wild adventure of motherhood.
The Fun and Funny World of New Mom Dilemmas
So, what exactly are these "Would You Rather Questions For New Moms"? Think of them as playful, hypothetical scenarios designed to make you think and, most importantly, giggle. They present two equally (or sometimes hilariously) undesirable or slightly inconvenient, but relatable, choices. For example, would you rather have your baby only sleep through the night if you sing opera at the top of your lungs, or have them only eat pureed broccoli for every meal? These questions are designed to be a fun icebreaker, a way to spark conversation with other new parents, or even just a moment of self-reflection for yourself.
These kinds of questions have become super popular, especially online and in mom groups, because they tap into the shared experiences of new parenthood. They acknowledge the challenges in a humorous way and create a sense of community. Here's why they work so well:
- They offer a safe space to vent about the absurdities of baby life without actually complaining.
- They're a quick and easy way to engage with others.
- They can be tailored to specific stages of parenthood, from newborn napping struggles to toddler tantrums.
The magic of Would You Rather Questions For New Moms lies in their ability to create vivid mental images and force a choice between two equally... interesting outcomes. The importance of these questions lies in their ability to foster connection, normalize the messy realities of parenting, and bring much-needed laughter to a time that can sometimes feel overwhelming. They're not about finding the "right" answer; they're about sharing the journey and realizing that many moms are in the same boat, navigating similar choppy waters.
Sleep-Related Shenanigans
- Would you rather have your baby wake you up every hour on the hour, or have them sleep soundly but occasionally cry out in their sleep so loudly you jump out of bed thinking they're in danger?
- Would you rather only be able to sleep in 15-minute increments for a whole week, or have your baby decide 3 AM is the perfect time for a two-hour dance party every single night?
- Would you rather have your baby’s cries sound like a symphony of angels when they are happy, but a banshee when they are upset, or have their happy cries sound like a herd of stampeding elephants and their upset cries sound like a tiny mouse squeak?
- Would you rather have your baby's crib be a magnet that only attracts dirty socks at night, or have your own pillow mysteriously start smelling faintly of sour milk every morning?
- Would you rather have to sing a lullaby in a language you don't understand every time your baby stirs, or have to perform a silent interpretive dance to get them back to sleep?
- Would you rather have your baby sleep for 12 uninterrupted hours but only on your chest, or have them sleep in their crib but only if you’re lying on the floor next to it?
- Would you rather wake up every morning with your hair perfectly styled but your baby covered in jam, or wake up with your hair a complete mess but your baby looking like they stepped out of a magazine?
- Would you rather have your baby communicate their needs through interpretive dance, or through a series of increasingly dramatic sighs?
- Would you rather have to whisper every conversation to your baby to keep them asleep, or have to talk in a booming voice to keep them from waking up?
- Would you rather your baby only nap when you're in the middle of a very important phone call, or your baby only wake up when you're just about to fall asleep?
- Would you rather have to tell your baby a bedtime story every night that makes absolutely no sense, or have to sing them the same song on repeat until they fall asleep?
- Would you rather your baby's loudest cries happen only when you're in a quiet library, or your baby's loudest giggles happen only when you're in a serious meeting?
- Would you rather your baby sleep through the night but only if you wear a full knight's armor, or have your baby wake up every hour but only if you give them a piggyback ride?
- Would you rather your baby only fall asleep if you rock them while doing jumping jacks, or your baby only fall asleep if you whisper secrets to them all night?
- Would you rather have your baby's dream cries sound like a monster from a horror movie, or their happy coos sound like a malfunctioning robot?
- Would you rather have to wake your baby up gently every morning, or have to wake them up with a surprise party horn?
- Would you rather your baby wake up every time you think you're about to drift off, or your baby wake up only when you finally sit down to eat?
- Would you rather have to sing off-key to get your baby to sleep, or have to play incredibly loud music?
- Would you rather your baby sleep in bursts of 5 minutes all night, or sleep for 5 hours straight but only after you've sung the entire Mamma Mia soundtrack?
- Would you rather have your baby be a champion sleeper but only if you wear a clown nose, or be a terrible sleeper but only if you promise to wear a tutu every day?
Feeding Frenzies
- Would you rather have your baby only eat food that is green, or only eat food that is blue?
- Would you rather have your baby demand food by dramatically pointing to their mouth and making a loud "feed me" noise, or have them communicate their hunger through a series of interpretive dance moves?
- Would you rather have every meal you prepare for your baby end up on their face and hair, or have every meal you prepare for yourself end up on their face and hair?
- Would you rather have your baby smear pureed carrots all over the walls every meal, or have them refuse to eat anything that isn't served in a tiny astronaut helmet?
- Would you rather have your baby only drink milk that you've personally milked from a unicorn, or have them only eat solid food that has been blessed by a famous chef?
- Would you rather have your baby make a loud gagging sound every time they eat something they dislike, or have them give you a death stare?
- Would you rather have your baby projectile vomit after every feeding, or have them refuse to eat unless you're singing them opera?
- Would you rather have your baby demand to be fed by a very specific, very obscure cartoon character, or have them demand to be fed by you wearing a silly hat?
- Would you rather have every bite of food you give your baby result in a tiny food fight, or have your baby only eat if you tell them a ridiculously long and boring story?
- Would you rather have your baby only eat food that is perfectly spherical, or only eat food that is perfectly triangular?
- Would you rather have your baby insist on eating with their feet, or have them insist on eating from a bowl that is balanced on your head?
- Would you rather have your baby spit out every single bite of food you offer them, or have them try to feed themselves with a fork and spoon from birth?
- Would you rather have your baby only eat food that makes a "popping" sound when you chew it, or only eat food that changes color as you eat it?
- Would you rather have your baby throw their food at you like a projectile weapon, or insist on eating their food while you’re holding them upside down?
- Would you rather have your baby only accept food that has been presented to them on a golden platter, or only accept food that has been whispered sweet nothings to?
- Would you rather have your baby turn their nose up at any food that isn't a perfectly arranged rainbow, or any food that isn't shaped like a miniature version of their favorite toy?
- Would you rather have your baby demand to be fed by a puppet, or demand to be fed by you wearing a full chicken costume?
- Would you rather have your baby only eat food that is lukewarm, or food that is incredibly spicy?
- Would you rather have your baby insist on eating every meal with chopsticks, or have them insist on eating their food off the floor?
- Would you rather have your baby require a standing ovation after every successful bite, or require you to sing a triumphant song after every successful meal?
Diaper Disasters
- Would you rather have your baby’s diapers always be slightly damp, or have them always be slightly… solid?
- Would you rather have your baby develop a mysterious rash that makes them glow in the dark, or a rash that makes them constantly smell faintly of burnt toast?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diaper blowouts happen exclusively in the most public of places, or have them happen only when you’re wearing your favorite outfit?
- Would you rather have your baby only wear diapers made of sandpaper, or diapers that constantly play polka music?
- Would you rather have to change your baby’s diaper with your eyes closed, or have to change it while wearing oven mitts?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diaper explosions resemble a Jackson Pollock painting, or a volcanic eruption?
- Would you rather have your baby's diaper leaks create tiny puddles that are exactly the shape of their feet, or have them create temporary art installations on the floor?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diapers smell like roses but only when they’re full, or smell like onions but only when they’re clean?
- Would you rather have to use baby wipes that are made of coarse sandpaper, or baby wipes that are somehow always slightly too hot?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diaper smell like old gym socks, or like a forgotten science experiment?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diaper blowouts happen only during important Zoom calls, or only when you’re in the middle of a crowded elevator?
- Would you rather have to change your baby’s diaper using only your toes, or using only your elbows?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diaper be a perpetual motion machine of leaks, or a one-time explosion that covers everything within a 10-foot radius?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diaper contents always be suspiciously glittery, or always be an unidentifiable shade of brown?
- Would you rather have to change your baby’s diaper with one hand tied behind your back, or while standing on one leg?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diapers always be slightly too small and therefore prone to escape, or slightly too big and constantly pooling?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diaper blowouts leave behind a faint, but permanent, scent of broccoli, or of old cheese?
- Would you rather have to use baby wipes that are somehow always sticky, or always too dry and crumbly?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diaper smell like a freshly cut lawn but only after a diaper change, or like a skunk but only when it’s clean?
- Would you rather have your baby’s diaper only come off if you sing them a complex song, or only come off if you solve a riddle?
Playtime Puzzles
- Would you rather have your baby only play with toys that make loud, repetitive noises, or toys that require a complex puzzle to operate?
- Would you rather have your baby only giggle when you make a ridiculous face, or only cry when you stop making a ridiculous face?
- Would you rather have your baby's favorite game be "hide and seek" where they hide in increasingly dangerous places, or "peek-a-boo" where they always reveal themselves with a startling scream?
- Would you rather have your baby only interact with their toys by dramatically throwing them, or by meticulously disassembling them?
- Would you rather have your baby’s toys come to life and play with them when you're not around, or have them come to life and play with you when you are around?
- Would you rather have your baby only play with toys that sing opera in a language you don't understand, or toys that conduct complex scientific experiments?
- Would you rather have your baby’s playtime involve them trying to teach you advanced calculus, or their favorite game be “you chase me until I collapse”?
- Would you rather have your baby’s toys randomly burst into song at the most inappropriate times, or have your baby’s toys secretly rearrange themselves when you’re not looking?
- Would you rather have your baby’s favorite game be “let’s build a tower of blocks and then immediately knock it down with glee,” or “let’s see how many things I can put in my mouth at once”?
- Would you rather have your baby only respond to commands given in ancient Latin, or only respond to commands given in dolphin clicks?
- Would you rather have your baby’s playtime involve them trying to teach you advanced martial arts, or their favorite game be “let’s see how many things I can stack on your head”?
- Would you rather have your baby’s toys occasionally emit cryptic prophecies, or have your baby’s toys occasionally emit tiny smoke signals?
- Would you rather have your baby only play with toys that are incredibly noisy and annoying, or toys that are incredibly complex and require an instruction manual?
- Would you rather have your baby’s favorite game be “let’s see how fast I can crawl away from you,” or “let’s see how many things I can unstack from your careful arrangements”?
- Would you rather have your baby only communicate their desires through interpretive dance, or through a series of dramatic interpretive sighs?
- Would you rather have your baby’s toys constantly try to teach you new languages, or constantly try to recruit you for their toy army?
- Would you rather have your baby only play with toys that emit strange, unidentifiable smells, or toys that vibrate at unsettling frequencies?
- Would you rather have your baby’s favorite game be “let’s see how many tantrums I can have in one hour,” or “let’s see how many times I can interrupt you while you’re talking”?
- Would you rather have your baby only enjoy playing with things that are extremely dangerous, or things that are incredibly boring?
- Would you rather have your baby’s toys secretly swap places every night, or have your baby’s toys spontaneously combust when you’re not looking?
Parenting Pains (and Pleasures!)
- Would you rather have your baby cry every time you leave the room, or have them only laugh when you're on an important phone call?
- Would you rather have your baby greet every new person with a suspicious glare, or with an immediate demand for a snack?
- Would you rather have your baby only sleep in the car, meaning you have to drive around for hours every day, or have them only sleep while you're rocking them in a perfectly silent, pitch-black room?
- Would you rather have your baby constantly ask "why?" to every statement you make, or constantly ask "what's that?" pointing at everything within reach?
- Would you rather have your baby only nap while you're in the middle of a very important task, or wake up just as you've finally sat down to relax?
- Would you rather have your baby be incredibly clingy and never want to be put down, or be so independent they constantly try to explore dangerous areas?
- Would you rather have your baby learn to speak in full sentences by the age of one but only in riddles, or learn to walk by the age of one but only backwards?
- Would you rather have your baby only be soothed by loud, jarring music, or by complete and utter silence?
- Would you rather have your baby smile at everyone except you, or cry at everyone except you?
- Would you rather have your baby constantly try to "help" you with chores in a way that makes them infinitely harder, or constantly ask for snacks that you don't have?
- Would you rather have your baby's favorite game be "let's see how many things I can knock over," or "let's see how many times I can ask for the same thing repeatedly"?
- Would you rather have your baby only be comforted by being tickled relentlessly, or by being held in a very specific, awkward yoga pose?
- Would you rather have your baby learn to talk but only in a language that doesn't exist, or learn to sing but only off-key and at the loudest possible volume?
- Would you rather have your baby only be happy when you're singing, or only be happy when you're dancing like a lunatic?
- Would you rather have your baby greet every visitor with a flood of unsolicited opinions, or with a barrage of demands?
- Would you rather have your baby only sleep when you're doing something strenuous, like running on a treadmill, or only sleep when you're doing something completely boring, like watching paint dry?
- Would you rather have your baby develop a unique talent for finding the messiest possible places to play, or a unique talent for attracting every stray animal in a five-mile radius?
- Would you rather have your baby only communicate through dramatic sighs and eye rolls, or through an elaborate system of grunts and gestures?
- Would you rather have your baby only be soothed by the sound of a foghorn, or by the sound of a million tiny bells?
- Would you rather have your baby learn to crawl backwards at lightning speed, or learn to walk by only moonwalking?
The Social Scene
- Would you rather have your baby's first word be "Mommy," or "Daddy," or "Mine!"?
- Would you rather have your baby always interrupt conversations to point out something you've already pointed out, or always interrupt to ask for a snack?
- Would you rather have your baby become best friends with the most annoying child in the playground, or have them constantly try to start a fight with the most intimidating child?
- Would you rather have your baby only be interested in playing with other babies who are significantly older and bigger, or only be interested in playing with inanimate objects?
- Would you rather have your baby attract attention by making incredibly loud noises, or by looking incredibly disheveled?
- Would you rather have your baby only engage with other adults by pulling their hair, or by trying to feed them their pureed food?
- Would you rather have your baby's signature move be an unsolicited belly flop into a puddle, or a dramatic dive into the nearest sandbox?
- Would you rather have your baby's social interactions involve them trying to trade their pacifier for your car keys, or their favorite toy for your phone?
- Would you rather have your baby only smile at people who are wearing a specific color, or only smile at people who are making a specific noise?
- Would you rather have your baby's idea of a fun outing be a trip to the dump, or a trip to a cactus garden?
- Would you rather have your baby only play with toys that make very loud and startling noises, or toys that require complex assembly?
- Would you rather have your baby's first attempt at communicating with other babies involve trying to share a half-eaten cracker, or a slightly damp sock?
- Would you rather have your baby only respond to strangers if they're singing a song about cheese, or if they're wearing a funny hat?
- Would you rather have your baby's idea of "sharing" be to take something from another child and then immediately try to eat it, or to offer it to them with a suspicious look?
- Would you rather have your baby only be interested in playing with things that are extremely dirty, or things that are extremely fragile?
- Would you rather have your baby's social skills involve them trying to teach other babies how to climb furniture, or how to properly stick their fingers in electrical outlets?
- Would you rather have your baby only be appeased by you making a series of bizarre animal noises, or by you dancing the Macarena?
- Would you rather have your baby's first sentence be "I need more snacks," or "Can I have your phone"?
- Would you rather have your baby only interact with other babies by mimicking their every move, or by trying to lead them in elaborate, nonsensical games?
- Would you rather have your baby only be satisfied by being swung around like a pendulum, or by being spun in circles until they're dizzy?
So, there you have it! A collection of Would You Rather Questions For New Moms designed to spark laughter, conversation, and maybe even a shared moment of "oh yes, I've been there!" These questions are a testament to the beautiful chaos of motherhood and a reminder that even in the most challenging moments, there's always room for a good laugh and a strong connection with fellow parents. Keep these in your back pocket for your next mom group meet-up or just for a fun way to pass the time during those long nights.